Pirates Vs Ninjas
by Sai Kunai Blade
Summary: There's a play I've heard is coming out soon called Pirates Vs. Ninjas, which seems silly to me, because it kinda seems obvious who would win between the two. That is what you are about to figure out now.


One day in a coastal village in Japan, a large pirate ship came to shore and the 30 members of the crew came out and started ransacking the whole village. But, on a high rooftop not so far away, 5 ninjas, 3 guys and 2 girls, watched the tyranny and prepared to stop it. They jumped from roof to roof until they reached the pirate. The first guy ninja dropped down 8 yards away from a lone pirate, who saw him and pulled out his pistol. The ninja, seeing the weapon, expected the event and rolled out of the way before the pirate shot, now being at a 45 degree angle to the pirates left, 6 yards away, then threw a shuriken into his neck, killing him instantly. The 2 girl ninjas remained unseen in a tree and on a rooftop of a nearby building, shooting their blowgun darts, tipped with pufferfish poison at a large group of pirates, 10 to be exact. They hit almost all the pirates, except for one and, within seconds, the pirates who were hit, due to the poison being fast acting as well as their blood rushing, died, while the one who was left alive, went into a drunken panic, pulling out a pistol for each hand, shooting everywhere until all 6 of his pistols had been shot from. Suddenly, from behind that pirate, one of the other male ninjas appeared, silently drew his ninjato (a katana with a straight blade, used for stabbing and chopping) and hacked down into the pirate's shoulder, hacking as deep as the lung. The last of the male ninjas jumped in front of two pirates, holding a kusari-gama (a sickle with a 14 foot chain and a metal weight attached at the end) in his hands. The first pirate pulled out a gun, but experienced a horrible case of double vision, due to being drunk off his ass and couldn't even aim properly, horribly missing the ninja. The other pirate pulled out his gun, but just like the other one, he rolled out of the way, plus the flintlock pistols the pirates had weren't the most accurate to begin with. He pulled out another pistol, but the ninja did a jumping side flip, then flung the weight at the pirates head, smashing him in the temple, shattering his skull, then whipped the weight around again, wrapping it around the other pirate's legs, at which point he ran in, jumped and plunged the sickle directly into the pirates forehead. A pirate from a hidden point got lucky and threw a grenade near the ninja with the Kusari-gama just as he pulled it out, so he barely had a moment to run, still getting a small blast from the grenade. Not killing him, but he was out of the fight for certain.

Current count for those not keeping track:

Pirates: 17 Ninjas: 4

The first mate happened to come across a woman outside of her house cowering in fear on the ground. Deciding to ignore the fighting for some pleasure, he walked over and tried to grab her, but one of the female ninjas jumped off the roof of the woman's house and dived down on him with her ninjato, impaling him (similar to how Sephiroth killed Aeris, for Final Fantasy fans). 3 of the pirates rushed at the other girl ninja, but she, having crushed a black egg (a hollowed out chicken egg filled with either chili pepper juices or, in this case, crushed glass) in her hand, threw its contents into their eyes, blinding them and causing them to stagger around and roll on the ground in pain, then she quickly slit each of their throats with a kunai, before retreating back into the trees for the final act. The remaining pirates finally did a somewhat smart maneuver and got together, ready to take fire at the 2 male ninjas standing 10 feet in front of them. The female ninjas, however, from a hidden point, threw smoke bombs into the group of pirates, disrupting them and causing them to go into a blind shooting, coughing fiercely as the smoke made it hard to breathe. A few of the pirates even accidentally shot each other, due to their close proximity and their locations (some were standing behind others). The two male ninjas then ran in, grabbed a pirate and held them in front of him, causing other pirates to believe that they were the ninjas, aiming at their own ally and killing them, at which point the ninjas struck, much to their surprise. The female ninjas, able to see through the smoke, which began to clear anyway, threw shurikens and kunai as they began to advance, killing a few of them before reaching the large group, at which point all of the ninjas slaughtered the rest of the pirates with their ninjato. The village cheered and praised their heroes while a few women tended to the injured ninja, whose injuries were barely serious and nowhere near life threatening. They retrieved their injured comrade and disappeared into the night.

Total Death count:

Pirates: 30 (all of them) Ninjas: 0

Reasons for the outcome:

1: While pirates had guns and grenades, the grenades are fairly ineffective and the guns aren't very accurate.

2: ninjas train their whole lives from a young age and can take down samurais, the best single fighters in history, whereas pirates have very little experience and only go after small, unprepared merchant ships that can't fight back very well, if at all.

3: Pirates are usually drunk off their asses and therefore, can't think straight, let alone handle the shock and terror of unseen ninja attacks, which would most likely throw them into panic.

4: ninjas have an incredibly efficient and inventive arsenal the pirates would never seen coming, whereas the pirates are fairly predictable and easy to read.

5: ninjas are capable of finding weaknesses in walking steel walls such as samurai, so an unarmored pirate would be no real challenge for a ninja.


End file.
